Blog 2017-12-17T15:26:15+00:00

The Wound of Unknowing and What to Do About It

By | January 20th, 2016|

“Nothing hurts worse than Not Being Known,” said a septuagenarian to a group of 5000 at a recent women’s conference. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, I felt the weight of their truth.  That Wound of Unknowing – I’ve lived with it.  After all, I’ve walked the lonely road of widowhood for [...]

A Crazy Dream, a Grieving Widow, and a Little Lesson about Change for You

By | October 23rd, 2015|

Last night, I had a crazy dream. But NOT “about a chick in a black bikini”.   Remember “Chicka-boom, chicka-boom, chicka-boom-boom-boom”? Anyway, my dream was about the man who had exited my life via cardiac arrest last winter. Since then, I’ve been surfing the waves of grief, learning to navigate its emotional highs and lows. Let’s [...]

The REAL Enemy of Your Relationship!

By | August 20th, 2015|

Nobody warns you about it when you make that big commitment.  And years later – when the proverbial  you-know-what hits the fan – mum’s the word. Friends.  Family.  Mentors.  They all dropped the ball on this one.  Meanwhile your Real Relationship Enemy lurks, silently weaving it’s dark disaster. But it’s not what you might think …. [...]

What My Husband’s Death Taught Me about Marriage

By | February 23rd, 2015|

After 27 years of marriage, my husband died unexpectedly while lifting weights on a Friday morning. The moment I found his unresponsive body, chaos entered my life. At the hospital, my son and I sat in a private waiting room.  When three medical professionals entered, I knew he was gone. But since he died, I’ve learned [...]

Forget New Year’s Resolutions: An Exit Interview for the Old Year

By | January 1st, 2015|

Here we are at another milestone.  Fireworks at the ready.  Party clothes on. Champagne corked. Eyes glued to the big ball. Helpful people have already inquired about our New Year’s Resolutions: “Do you have any? What are they?” Blah, blah, blah. In my humble opinion, these are the wrong questions.  Before we think up any resolutions (or [...]

How to Not Only Survive, but Thrive with Your Dysfunctional Family THIS Holiday!

By | December 18th, 2014|

Here we are, one week from Christmas.  And you and I are in the same boat – anticipating another dysfunctional family holiday. By this point, we sing Christmas songs in our sleep.  Sit frustrated in unexplained traffic jams, after hours of holiday shopping. Or perhaps we overdose on sappy holiday movies from the Hallmark Channel.  You know what [...]

Vacation Wisdom for Emotional Storms

By | August 14th, 2014|

I approached this year’s vacation much like I prepared for my wedding – with visions of undiluted happiness spinning in my head.  But after arriving at midnight, I woke up in Vacation Heaven to raging winds, and a stormy sea.  Lake Michigan was unsafe for small vessels and open water swimming.  And strangely, it reminded me [...]

Marriage Advice for Wedded Bliss

By | July 28th, 2014|

Two weeks ago we attended the wedding of my niece.  The ceremony and reception were exquisite - just as she is.  Watching the ceremony, I started thinking about all the planning and effort that culminates in a wedding.  Then I thought about all the places we get stuck when the honeymoon is over. What would keep [...]

Betrayed? What to Do Instead of Revenge Cheat

By | July 24th, 2014|

Here's a teaser from my latest article on In a committed relationship, when your man cheats, you want to kick him where it hurts. An eye for an eye; a tooth for a tooth. The thought of inflicting the same kind of cheating pain tastes like the sweetest revenge. You want to even the score by making [...]

Why Sex Education at Home is Important

By | July 16th, 2014|

Talking to kids about sex.  If only our task were as easy as that of the mother in this picture! Here’s a teaser from my latest article on YourTango: What your kids know about sex may surprise you. Our kids’ sex education begins the moment they tune into the world around them. Numerous gateways introduce them to our [...]

Declaration of Independence for a Committed Relationship

By | July 2nd, 2014|

IN OUR HOME, July 4, 2014 (with apologies to Thomas Jefferson, et al), The unanimous Declaration of Independence for a Committed Relationship, When in the Course of everyday life, it becomes necessary for one Couple to dissolve the oppressive bands which have connected them with a Problem Process, and to assume among the Couples of the [...]

Turning Wishful Thinking into Concrete Hope that Creates Change

By | June 18th, 2014|

How often you wish for change? While binge watching “House of Cards”, you wish you looked like Claire Underwood. Or at least could find her wardrobe in your size and on your budget… You wish for a row house on a trendy street in the city.  Or a house anywhere without a crushing mortgage that keeps [...]