Couples Counseling

/Couples Counseling
Couples Counseling 2017-09-29T12:35:01+00:00

Does Trust, Communication Or Connection Need Reviving In Your Relationship?

Does it feel as though you and your partner:

  • Can’t communicate without fighting?
  • Have the same conversation over and over, but nothing gets resolved?
  • Are not on the same page about parenting, finances or another important issue?
  • Feel lonely, even when you are right beside each other?
  • Have made physical or sexual intimacy a thing of the past?
  • Can’t heal after a physical or emotional infidelity or other betrayal?

A broken relationship can leave you feeling rejected, isolated and humiliated. Once upon a time, you stepped into a fairytale, but now you may feel trapped in a relationship nightmare. How did you and your partner get here?

As the initial relationship glow has worn off, you may have noticed that how you each connect and communicate has changed in unexpected ways. This natural shift can ignite communication problems, leaving you to think something is terribly wrong with you, your partner or your relationship.

How do you handle your concerns? If you constantly argue, you may feel like your needs and opinions are being dismissed or misunderstood. Conflict could cause one of you to shut down, refusing to talk about relationship issues, even as they become more entrenched. Perhaps it feels as though you and your partner never really talk anymore. As these problems persist, you might feel like an outsider in your own life, desperate for acknowledgement, understanding and connection. Do you wish you and your partner could approach each other with genuine interest, care, intimacy and trust?

Most Couples Experience Challenges

The unavoidable reality is that every couple faces relationship challenges from time to time. No human gets a free pass on loss or unhappiness. These difficult moments—job loss, health concerns, the death of a loved one, children leaving home—can affect a person’s emotions or behavior, which in turn affects your relationship. Even “normal” day-to-day obligations and responsibilities can create widening gulfs between the closest of partners. Stress, anxiety or depression can disrupt communication or trigger persistent arguments, leaving each partner feeling even more lost and stuck.

When relationship difficulties arise, many couples spend more time talking with family members or friends than with each other. Infidelity or waning sexual desire creates a breach in trust and communication. Often, you end up feeling more like a roommate than an intimate partner.

Sometimes, the time and attention you invest in another part of life becomes far greater than your commitment to keep the relationship healthy and happy. The distance created when one partner feels neglected can trigger thoughts of separation or divorce.

You’re probably sensing a truth many of us ignore: Intimate relationships are fragile. The good news is that a compassionate, experienced couples therapist can help you rediscover fulfillment and satisfaction in your relationship.

Couples Counseling Can Help You Revive Your Relationship

All couples experience challenges, and I’ve dealt with many relationship issues both personally and professionally. I was married for 27 years before my husband died. Having lived in the trenches, I understand relationship problems from the inside out.

Because I know that change is possible, I combine my professional expertise with a hopeful, optimistic approach. Whether your problem started two weeks ago or 20 years ago, couples counseling can help you learn to change, grow and heal within your relationship or marriage.

In our sessions, we’ll begin by addressing your individual concerns, needs and desires. When you and your partner work with a therapist who truly understands and balances each of your needs, it becomes easier to locate and work through the roots of relationship problems, no matter how simple or complex they may seem.

We’ll also identify what works in your relationship, because the good and satisfying parts also need acknowledgement and nurturing. A common misconception about relationships is that one issue or wound destroys everything. That falsehood unfairly dooms the relationship. The truth is that even when a particular challenge seems as though it has tarnished everything, your relationship still has good elements, big and small. That truth makes change possible.

Maybe it feels like you have grown apart—like your partner is not the person with whom you fell in love. The truth is that neither of you is the same person. As you’ve each navigated personal and career challenges, your individual thoughts and behaviors have changed. In couples therapy, I can help you gain important insights into yourself and your partner so you can better understand the evolving dynamic of your relationship.

As a hopeful, encouraging therapist, I’ll incorporate behavior techniques and homework assignments, such as practicing empathy and negotiating rules for arguments, into our work together. When you each learn to truly listen to the other, to honestly and respectfully reveal needs and desires, you’ll gain a deeper, more flexible love and connection.

A better relationship may seem like a distant dream, but change is possible. To fuel that change, you must begin to believe that you can grow and change in your relationship. Even if the relationship disconnect is palpable right now, a supportive, experienced therapist can help you open the door to feeling heard, understood and cared for again. You and your partner can gain new perspectives about your relationship and adopt new tools to identify, effectively confront and heal from relationship wounds. When two partners commit to seek a solution, results can be astonishing.

You may still have questions about couples and marriage counseling…

I think we need help, but isn’t therapy expensive?

Couples therapy is an investment in yourself and your relationship. Strengthening your relationship can reduce the stress and anxiety that its problems trigger, offering you greater mental and emotional freedom in all areas of your life. Taking time to change the relationship for the better now can help you avoid future derailments.

I desire to make therapy affordable for couples. While I don’t accept insurance, I do offer receipts, which some clients use to apply for out-of-network reimbursement. If you really want to work with me, but can’t afford the stated fee, contact me about reduced-fee time slots.

What can couples counseling really do for us?

Counseling is not about getting you back to where you used to be. After all, that path brought you here. Instead, couples and marriage counseling steers you to a place you’ve never been, toward a relationship built on effective communication, vibrant connection and solid trust. My job is to help you tease out the individual changes necessary to reach this goal.

What if our problem becomes too big to address or another issue arises?

Sure, counseling may expose other issues hiding in the corners of your relationship. But, if you ignore problems now, they will likely get worse. Because change is inevitable, your relationship, and each person in it, will change. Couples therapy empowers you to understand and exert some control over how your relationship changes. You come to my office to address challenges in a safe place. I provide a compassionate, caring and confidential environment in which you can safely work through any issue that surfaces. You’ll face it with support.

What if my partner refuses to come to counseling?

If this is your reality, I encourage you to come alone. Learn how to change your response to your partner, and see if that ignites a desire for change in them. Sometimes, one person is like a pebble tossed into a pond: individual change can ripple out through a family system, inviting change in others.

Your Relationship Can Improve

If you would like to schedule an appointment or discuss any questions you may have regarding couples counseling in Manassas, VA, I’m available at 571-494-1391. I try to respond to all voicemails and emails within 24 hours during the business week.

Want to schedule a phone call to discuss your questions?