IN OUR HOME, July 4, 20XX, with apologies to Thomas Jefferson, et al),
The unanimous Declaration of Independence for a Committed Relationship,
When in the Course of everyday life, it becomes necessary for one Couple to dissolve the oppressive bands which have connected them with a Problem Process, and to assume among the Couples of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to each other’s opinions requires that…
Partners should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Committed Relationships are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Connection, Communication, and the pursuit of Undiluted Trust.
That to secure these rights, Processes are instituted among Partners, deriving their just powers from the consent of those within the Committed Relationship.
That whenever any Process becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the Couple to alter or to abolish it, and to institute a new Process, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to seem most likely to create Safety and Happiness within the Relationship.
Prudence certainly dictates that a Committed Relationship long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and all experience shows that relationships are more disposed to tolerate, while evils are tolerable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed.
But when a long train of abuses and usurpation, pursing invariably from the same Problem Process, evinces a design to place them under absolute Tyranny, it is the Couple’s right, it is their duty, to throw off such a Problem Process, and to provide new Guards for the future security of their relationship.
Such has been the lengthy toleration of these Partners; and such is now the necessity which constrains us to alter our former Relationship Process. The history of the present Problem Process is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over Our Relationship.
To prove this tyranny, let these facts be submitted to a candid audience:
- The Problem Process refuses to acknowledge what is most wholesome and necessary for the good of Our Relationship.
- It forbids us to make changes of immediate and pressing importance. It utterly neglects to attend to what each partner needs.
- The Problem Process lures each of us into unusual, uncomfortable, and distant emotional experiences – for the sole purpose of jerking our human chains.
- It repeatedly dissolves our efforts to fix things – invading the rights of each partner with macho firmness.
- The Problem Process so manipulates each of us that Our Relationship is exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsion from within.
- It inhibits Our ability to thrive.
- It obstructs justice within Our Relationship, making each partner a judge who advocates solely for his/her position.
- The Problem Process erects barriers between partners, and sends swarms of confusion to harass us individually and eat out the core of Our Relationship.
- It encourages us to stay armed and alert for battle when no threat looms.
- The Problem Process plunders trust, ravishes boundaries, burns communication bridges, and destroys the heart of our connection.
- The Problem Process is our enemy, holding us captive as it works Relationship death, desolation, and tyranny.
- It manipulatively transforms us into our worst enemies – causing each of us to work against our joint domestic bliss.
In every stage of these Oppressions, we have complained and petitioned for Change:
Yet our repeated petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Process, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a healthy Relationship.
Nor have we failed to attend to our Relationship challenges. We tried to change – over and over again. We approached the Problem Process with halfhearted pressure, appealing to its best intentions on our behalf. But the Problem Process remained deaf to the voice of justice and kinship.
We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity which denounces our Separation,
And hold the Problem Process, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.
We, therefore, the Partners of this Committed Relationship, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by the authority of Ourselves, solemnly publish and declare, that
This Committed Relationship is, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent of the Problem Process;
That we are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Problem Process, and that all connection between the Problem Process and Ourselves should be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent of its control, we possess full Power to pursue mutual Peace, strengthen our Alliance, improve daily Communication, and do all other Acts and Things which those in a Committed Relationship may rightly do.
And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.
It’s you and me, Babe, against the Problem Process.
Let Freedom Ring – for us!
What do you think about this Declaration and relationship change? Speak Your Mind Below!
So clever. This should be used in divorce court and mediation. I believe relationships might get saved.
Thanks, Roz. I got the idea while doing patriotic reading during breakfast!
Very original Gina and quite lovely to read in the context of the current state of many people’s relationships. It is so thorough and well thought out and now that I saw you mention where it came from, I say kudos for seeing the perfect way to connect this to the work you are so committed to doing.
Great post. If more people applied this to their relationships I think many more people would still be together. It is so sad that so many people end up divorced these days. Just not knowing how to find a solution. Thanks for sharing.
This is great to use the Declaration of Independence as a guide to personal relationships
I LOVE this! Wish I had seen it in 1984!!
This is fantastic!!!! I love what you did and I’m sharing!!!!
This is great and I do believe that most people should incorporate this. I think there will be more lasting relationships if people followed this. Thanks for sharing.
Gina – this is fantastic and you had the idea while reading during breakfast. I thought maybe your lawyer husband was a party to this but glad to hear it came directly from your brain.
I hope I have that when I got married! Lol! Very unique article. 🙂
Interesting take on relationships – it’s a great idea too
Very clever, Gina! Perfect for the Fourth of July!