Two weeks ago we attended the wedding of my niece.  The ceremony and reception were exquisite – just as she is.  Watching the ceremony, I started thinking about all the planning and effort that culminates in a wedding.  Then I thought about all the places we get stuck when the honeymoon is over.

What would keep us from repeating the mistakes that suck the life out of a relationship?  What do I wish I’d known when I was a blushing newlywed? I decided to answer my own questions in the form of an open letter to my niece.

Here’s a teaser of that letter from YourTango.com:

My Beautiful Niece,

By now you’ve been married for almost two weeks and I thought I’d drop a line to offer you the kind of marriage advice that no one offered me. If you follow it, you’ll have a good shot at doing what your parents and mine couldn’t, and what your uncle and I work at daily: succeeding in your marriage. We’ve learned some priceless lessons by trial and error.

Lesson 1: Place a strong boundary around your relationship.

I noticed that you tuned out of Facebook during your honeymoon. Way to go! That was your time with your husband; you did not need to share it with friends and family. Just as you protected that experience from outside interference, so you will need to protect your relationship from the tentacles of your families and friends.

Everyone on both sides will have opinions and specific marriage advice about who should be doing what. We love you both, but our opinions are not your golden truths. So take them with a grain of salt. Set a firm boundary around your marriage, and let no one outside that boundary dictate your actions within it. From inside your relationship boundary, work as …

Please read the rest and comment athttp://www.yourtango.com/experts/gina-binder/everything-I-wish-Id-known-as-a-newlywed#ixzz38il8Gq6o

If your Relationship With Yourself needs help, I encourage you to explore couples counseling

And if my words resonate with you, I invite you to contact me