Navigate Anxiety Triggers in the New Year
Every winter as the Ball Drops in New York City and clocks strike 12:00 AM, anxiety triggers lay waiting, and we face the promise and uncertainty of another new year.
Hoping for the best, we dash into the New Year with resolutions based on high expectations:
- To attend medical appointments without fear.
- To communicate honestly with spouses.
- To enjoy crowded spaces.
- To feel comfortable giving work presentations.
Sadly, our well-intentioned resolutions will often fizzle out before January ends, intensifying routine feelings of anxiety for many of us. Perhaps we need less resolve to face the uncertainty of 2025, and more of a plan to meet the anxiety triggers likely to jerk our chains throughout the year. To this end, I offer a simple 4-step plan.
1. Identify your common anxiety triggers.
Think about the situations where you routinely feel anxious. Suzy experiences fear and dread when she goes to the dentist twice a year. Bob routinely fears telling his wife the truth if it may hurt her feelings. Doug feels frozen whenever he’s in crowded room. Ted experiences heart palpitations when he stands before a white board to make a work presentation. Different situations trigger anxiety for each person. It’s important for each of us to acknowledge our individual triggers, because we can’t wish them away.
Take a moment to identify the unique situations that trigger your own anxiety.
2. Imagine a different response to each anxiety trigger.
While we can’t wave a magic wand to eliminate our anxiety triggers, we can think about healthier ways to respond when triggered. I recently heard someone say they use the mantra, “It’s ok to feel this way” to comfort themselves when they feel overly distressed. I think we need to stop criticizing ourselves for feeling anxious. Let’s imagine accepting that we feel anxious in certain situations.
In thought experiments, Suzy, Bob, Doug and Ted imagine accepting the anxiety they experience in each unique situation. Now take a moment to imagine accepting the anxiety you experience in each of your identified situations. Notice how it feels to replace self-criticism with self-acceptance.
3. Establish a new habit to practice when you are triggered.
When we begin to accept the presence of our situational anxiety, we are ready to create a simple habit to practice each time we are triggered. A simple habit for Suzy could be a mantra like “it’s ok to feel this way about the dental visit” before visit and “I’m ok” during the visit. Bob might practice telling his wife the truth about his preferences for food, music, etc. Doug might practice saying Hello to five people in a group before retiring to a corner. Ted might practice taking one deep breath before beginning each presentation and accepting his need for notes while he speaks.
Rather than make anxiety go away, these habits or practices train us to change our response to the trigger of anxiety. Now take a moment to create one habit to practice when your anxiety is triggered in your unique situation. Practice that habit each time you face a trigger.
But what happens if/when our practice fails?
4. Rinse and Repeat any time you fail.
Like all imperfect humans, you and I will each fail to practice our habits continuously. And when that happens, we need to reframe what that failure actually means. I define failure as a cue to restart the practice of our identified habits. Will you join me in accepting this rinse and repeat definition? If we want to enter the New Year without being controlled by situational anxiety, we must consistently practice changing our response to it.
I hope this 4-step plan will help you change your response to anxiety triggers in the New Year. If you try the steps and feel the need for additional help, consider anxiety counseling to explore more short-term and long-term strategies to manage your unique struggle.
Happy New Year from my office to your home!
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